So here's the deal...

Have decided to leave Korea early. Gave my letter of resignation to my school on Monday, stating that my last day will be February 28. I didn't realise that it was a Sunday, but they are cool with it. The teachers handling the situation are being very understanding and supportive. Since Feb 28th is exactly 6 months, I don't have to pay back the re-imbursed airfare and settlement allowance of 300,000won. Also, since it's exactly half of my 1 year contract, they are allowing me to have half of my holidays. I've got 5 days in Jan (the first full week of Jan, so 1st through to the 10th), and then 5 days in Feb (from Lunar New Year - Feb 13 to Feb 22), and then the last 4 days at work, preparing things for a new (possible) replacement.

It wasn't a decision that I made lightly. I haven't been enjoying my job pretty much since I got here. I have no big regrets (small ones, yes, but not big ones) about taking this job and trying something new in a place I've been before. One thing that this experience has emphasised more for me, is that you're the only person who can truly look after you. I now know that Korean public schools aren't my thing. Outside of work, I am enjoying my life here in Korea, but to have to go to a place you don't want to go to 5 days a week, is hard.

I've got issues that I have to deal with back at home as well, and I'll be honest, if these issues didn't come up, I would have tried to stay in my job for 12 months, and I think I could have. But, this is just the way it is. You gotta do the best with what you've got.

As Kenny has said:

You gotta know when to hold 'em
know when to fold 'em
know when to walk away
know when to run

For my own sake, it's time for me to fold 'em and walk away, so I can come back feeling better than ever.

Yeah, I do want to come back to Korea. This chapter in life has taught me to look before you leap, test the waters before jumping in. I think a part of me was so eager to get back to Korea, that i jumped into this job a bit too quickly. If you have to go to a place 5 days out of 7, you should may as well enjoy it - and I'm not.

So this is how it works:
Feb 26 (fri) - last working day
Feb 28 (sun) - last official day, and moving out of apartment day
Mar 1 (mon) - public holiday (independence day)
Mar 2 (tue) - first day of the new semester
Mar 3 (wed) - meet my co-teacher in Suwon so that I can cancel my visa/sojourn properly
Mar 5 (fri) - get to incheon airport by 9, so that I can check in for a flight that leaves at 11am.

From my experience, Koreans can plan stuff pretty well, when they need to. I've given them more than 60 days notice as to when I'm going to quit (sure it's only 10 days, but any bonus is good), so that they have a bit more time to try to find a replacement. I've told them if they would like any help from me, then all they have to do is ask - it's the least I could do since they're helping me out too.

I've also sorted out places to stay from Feb 28 to Mar 5. Friends are awesome when they help out - I'd like to think that they know that I would do the same for them as well.

Resolutions and Revelations, Part 1

Before, while I was still in South Korea, I was looking forward to coming home, being with family for a while, and getting my life back to the way it was. But that's just it - you can't take a break from life, and then restart it whenever you want. For 3 years, South Korea was my life. As much as I was telling myself that things will be different when I get home (people would have moved on, done stuff, etc), I wasn't really mentally prepared for that.

I left South Korea 11 weeks ago, and to be honest, it feels longer. But, at the moment, I'm really questioning my motivations for coming back to Australia (notice that I didn't say "coming home"). I thought it would be good to be with my family for Christmas and New Year/Birthday, but actually now, i somewhat regret it. Sure, it was nice to see most of the extended family on Christmas, but it didn't do anything for me, emotionally. Put simply, family doesn't feel like family anymore, with one exception.

I also thought that having a birthday with family would be nice too. Basically, it wasn't. I have never felt more alone - even compared to times when I was South Korea. The only real person in my family who made an effort, was my mum (hence my Facebook Status update that said "Andy loves his Mum. She's fucking Awesome"). This also comes back to the idea that I wasn't ready for things being different when I come back. I didn't expect 3 extra people in the house, that I don't really know. But, I also didn't expect one family member to actually forget my birthday as well.

I'm feeling a bit like Ron Burgundy at the moment - in a glass cage of emotion.

Dusty Sunday

With all the dust from the land that's been cleared, the wind brought a lot of dust today, but unlike the dust from China (when I was in Korea), it's not toxic or metallic or whatever it was.

I've been home for a week now, and I've been slowly getting used to things here. The cost of stuff is still freaking me about a bit. If I don't need to drive around a lot, I can easily catch the bus into town (not as many buses as Korea, and a but more expensive). The price of a daily ticket is abou the same as 2L of petrol, so it works out fine for me, and it's a decent workout as well - walking to the bus stop, walking around town, and then walking home from the bus stop.

Today, it kinda dawned on me - I'm not going back to Korea for a long while. Yeah, I know, I've been out of Korea for a week, but it takes a while for things to settle in and to get things straight in my head. Today was the day I also craved some Korean food, and speaking Korean and things like that. If I didn't have to budget, I would have called a few Korean friends today.

Went to a garden place, to get some ideas for a family member's birthday present.




Some things around there looked nice, but it's not my thing. We chose something out, put it in the car, and came home.