Single digits! (Thank fuck!)

It's been one of those weeks at work, which had really reinforced my decision to leave my job by not renewing my contract and just leave Korea. During the week, my life is pretty much only work, so it does get a bit MEH after a while. 3 years of the same shit, and yeah, I'm am looking forward to leaving Korea, so I can have a real break from it.

Tuesday, I was told by the boss that 4 elementary students and 3 middle school students were chosen for the 2nd part of the PELT (Practical English Level Test), which is a kind of "interview". Basically, they have to speak, rather than just choose an A, B, C or D on a multiple choice test (but at least the written part of PELT has a few open questions, where you have to write the answer yourself).

So, on Tuesday, i got told by the boss about the students who are taking the Interview, and that I'll be teaching them instead of my usual classes. I get handed 3 pieces of paper, which have 3 examples, and he starts showing me a video and talking to me about it. I just find things like this kind of meaningless. It's not the first time this has happened as well, I've had 3 years of random changes to things, and many of them sounding like this: Teach these kids Interview.

For me, It's like someone saying, I want ice-cream, and they want you to go to Baskin Robbins. They don't tell you what kind of ice-cream they want, or how much they want, or if they want different flavours in the same bucket, or just all of the same one. Also, you just know that when you get back with the ice cream, they don't like it, or you chose the wrong size, and then say it's your fault.

For me, that is pretty much Korea in a nutshell.



Anyway, The "Interview" is consisted of 4 parts: Self-Introduction (30 seconds), Description and Questions about a set of 3 pictures (2 minutes), Short passage and questions (1 min 30 seconds), and then an "improptu speech" which is just answering random questions (1 minute). So, in theory, it takes 7 minutes. The big money being in the second and third sections. The introduction is just something memorised, and in the video above, you get the idea of what it's about (even though the audio is badly recorded). The introduction, as long as you can remember it, is piss easy, and wouldn't be worth much. In the example above, after the interviews say "thanks, that'll do" the kid keeps on going. That looses points in my opinion. So, I'm trying to get my kids to keep their intro at 30 seconds.

So, what does the boss do yesterday? Tell me that their introductions are too short. He's telling me that they need to mention family, and all this other crap, and I'm like "it's 30 seconds, not 30 minutes. The interviewers have heaps of these tests, and wanna get it done in the time allotted. Keep it short and to the point. Also, since most of the points will be in the other sections, that's what I'm working on - getting students to make full sentences that make sense instead of just a string of words and Korean grammar."

But, the boss, in great Korean "I'm your boss so let's do it my way" fashion, didn't really pay attention, and started talking about the one kid that shouldn't be doing it - because he has a pretty low ability when it comes to speaking. I don't know how he got chosen to be in the final four. I would imagine that his mother has something to do with it. Also, the boss' wife and this kid's mum know each other pretty well, so the boss is telling me to teach him "more" and "better". "He is good at remembering things, so give him some special sentences for his introduction," the boss says to me. WTF? He has trouble remembering his regular introduction. The three other kids in the class, if they don't remember something, they know the other things they wanna talk about, and if they bugger it up, they know how to keep going.

So, the two classes are separate, the elementary and middle school students. But the mum also wants him in the middle school class for more practice. But, he just sits there and does nothing, because he's too shy to say anything infront of the older students. Also, With the middle school students, their English is pretty good that I don't have to dumb it down for them, speak slower, or use "simple" words.

So, basically, I'm flying blind with this PELT thing. I've got an idea of how it works, what the interviewers will be assessing, and that's about it. I just gotta give them practice to get things sounding good, so when the real test comes, they don't freak out as much. Apart from the Introduction, this isn't a test where you can regurgitate stuff on demand - which is really gonna fuck with some students, since that is pretty much Korean education.

This is one main reason why I don't approve of the Korean education system. Teachers teach to the test, and the test score is the only thing of importance. If you're not good at regurgitating information on demand for a test, then you're seen as stupid. Also, one person can't be good at everything - and in my opinion, it's this kind of pressure that Korean parents (and society in general) are putting on their kids. Yeah, people will say it's changing - but change is like a foreigner - at first it's scary and people will stare and not really get it. Sure, it looks cool to have a foreigner around, but after a while, we'll just go back to doing things our way, and tell the foreigner to just shut up, do their job and not listen to what they say because they don't understand Korea and/or Koreans and their culture/history/gimchi/dokdo/eating dog/drinking to excess with thier rather than being at home with their families/sending their kids to hagwon as a babysitting service so the mums can stay out all day and shop and gossip with their friends/etc.

One thing I'm also really sick of, and glad that I will be leaving behind, is the childrens' lack of balls. I don't mean literal, but i mean the character building kind. When a kid fucks up, they don't have the balls to take it and realise that they have fucked up. Sure, it's not all of my students. I'd say that 50-60% of my students know how to behave, and all it takes is a look or just a "c'mon, just study" and they're back in line, but the other 40-50% are a handful. Depending on my mood, how much crap I've had to put up with previously, and what insane shit they're doing now, I can tolerate it, or I just tell them to get out of class, which normally ends with me getting their bag, throwing it out the window or door, and then pushing them out, because they don't have the balls to get up and move themselves.

First thing. This is a hagwon - so in other words, not real education. If it was serious, my boss would be serious about. He's not. He doesn't enforce any kind of rules. Some kids have the idea that they can do whatever they want in class, because they're parents pay for the classes (I had this argument with a kid last week). When I told the boss about it, he confronted the kid, and the kid just started to walk away - and what did the boss do about it? Sweet Fuck All. He's thinking about the money. But, in that situation, he's set a precedent. It's learned behaviour, passive aggressive as well. I'll just ignore it, coz i know he's not going to do anything about it. So, I probably should say that my boss has no balls as well.

Rarely, I have a few students who do have the balls to get up and get out of class, coz they have realised that they've fucked up. I have a chat with them after they've realised, and we can all move on, happily ever after. Most of the time, they're good in class after that. Every now and then they bugger up, but not as bad, and all it needs is the before mentioned look or saying of something, and they're back on track.

Yesterday, one of my students thought it would be a good idea to backchat when I'm telling him to concentrate and to stop talking to other students, coz he's got work to do. One thing I rarely do, is raise my voice. I keep it calm, and normally just take off stickers from their sticker boards, then they ask way, and then i tell them. But today, this kid, who hasn't gotten it though his thick, empty head that he needs to do his work in my class. He doesn't have many stickers left. But yesterday, i had to use my big scary foreigner voice. This is the same voice that has scared some co-workers in schools back in Australia. Basically, my aim was to embarrass him, as well as to show that I'm pissed off. So, i believe I said "Shut up and concentrate! I didn't come to Korea for you to waste my time!", and with that, he actually studied for the remainder of the class. I don't like to get angry in class - because not only does it scare the kid, it generally scares all the others, and then i have to work overtime to make a few jokes to lighten the mood. One of them, to the kid that was sitting closest to me was "내 큰 목소리대문에 귀 안먹어졌어? (you didn't go deaf because of my voice?).

I am finding that I am tolerating a lot less crap from these students as I get closer to leaving. I would imagine that on my last two days, I'm not going to give a fuck. Why should I of they don't either? ^^

On Tuesday, in the grade 4/5 class, one of my students thought it would be a good idea to bring a pet kitten into my class. He had it wrapped up in a jacket. He wasn't showing other students, and was telling them to go away, coz they wanted to see what it was. I let the cat out of the bag, so to speak, and make a cat sound in Korean (야옹) as I left the room to photocopy something, so the kids knew what it was. It was getting distracting, to I told the student to put the cat on my desk. But, he takes it out of the jacket, and puts it on my desk. The cat starts to freak out, and what do young animals to when they freak out - yep, they start shitting everywhere. This kitten shat on my desk, and then shat on my bag. I was not impressed. Firstly, why the fuck would you take the kitten out of the jacket to put it on my desk? Secondly, why bring a fucking animal to a hagwon in the first place? Would he have brought it if it was the boss' class? Fuck no.

The kids house it pretty close, would take him 10 minutes to walk there and back, so I told him, take it home. He had an issue with this, so I did the usual threat of taking stickers off if he didn't. But, he was only got for 2 minutes, and refused to tell me the truth about where he put the kitten. Then, I told him that he can go back home again, and get some cleaning products to clean my desk and bag. He refused and said that there are no cleaning products at home. So, on that note, i got him some soapy water, a cloth, and a towel to clean not only my desk, but everyone's desk for being a liar (i was thinking: lying little turd that normally wastes time in my class).

I'm working this Saturday from 9am to 11:30am, for the middle school kids who have the PELT test on Saturday afternoon. The condition being that I can finish 1 hour and 20 minutes early in my last week. By the end of this weekend, I wanna be living out of my suitcase anyway. The middle school kids have tests at the end of next week, so there's no chance to me to see the middle school kids before I go, which is a bit sad. I'll be having parties in my last classes. I don't think a replacement will be coming in time - but, in true Korean fashion, I haven't been told either way.

9 days to go.